Here are wedding planning tips for men …. Women… no need to read any further….
Let’s explore some wedding planning tips for men
Wedding Planning is a lot of work. A lot of work that you don’t want to do because there are a lot of details that just don’t matter to you. And let’s be frank, we can say a wedding is for both of you all we want… but we know it’s about the bride’s vision of what she has dreamed about since she was 5. I am about to give you 4 words that are the keys to wedding planning.
“I trust your judgement”. Those 4 words will be a life saver when it comes to wedding planning and your marriage in general. For things you truly don’t care about…. “I trust your judgement” is WAY better received than, “I don’t care”. What color napkins should we have at the reception? “I don’t care” … Should we go with white chair covers or black? “I don’t care” … Now she her mind is going wild reading into things like… He doesn’t care about our wedding. Does he really want to get married? Does he even Love me? And it snowballs from there…. “I know you have been working on this and have a better eye for things, I trust your judgement” …. You’re off the hook, no hard feelings.
There are tons of things you two will disagree with each other about, that’s only natural, but it’s how you resolve the issue that matters. Small details aren’t worth a fight, and for girls that are reading this… (sneaky snakes) … give the guy a break…. We aren’t worried about minor details and most things at a wedding are minor details to the groom. While guys appreciate you trying to include us, we know it’s a trap and you have a vision… save the effort.
But what happens when it’s something a little more major?
She wants 20 bridesmaids, but you only have 4 groomsmen…
Have this conversation before either of you ask ANYBODY… Nothing will ruin a friendship faster than asking somebody to be in your wedding, then having to tell them … just kidding, you didn’t make the cut. As a wedding DJ for over 25 years, I can tell you with certainty that the more people in the wedding party, the more drama you are going to encounter. I think having the conversation with her is going to be key and try to see if she can whittle her list down is ok… but don’t sweat it if she sticks to her guns…. But I think it’s a common misconception that you must match …. It’s ok to have less. But if you must fill in a few more people there are ways to fill the gap, maybe your fiancé’s brother, a cousin you’re close too, a childhood friend that you’ve lost touch with… But the end of the day, an uneven wedding party is not the end of the world.
The Guest list is HUGE but you want a small wedding.
Your budget is your budget… money is one of the things couples fight over the most. Don’t spend beyond your means. Have the conversation about it and break down cost of the venue and other vendors, cost per person etc.…. It goes without saying that the more people, the more it’s going to cost. That might be a simple harsh reality of things… this is the budget; this is how many people we can invite. Start with immediate family and wedding party (and their family) and then work outwards in circles… are co-workers in the outermost circle? 3rd cousins might be on the fringe too….
Once your list is broken down into circles, you count from the middle out and outer levels don’t get an invite. If there is wiggle room in the budget, you have to ask yourself what is harder, to ask her to cut down the list, or asking yourself to be ok including more people? Some talking points for your discussion with your fiancé though…
Once you get past 150 people… it drags the reception on because it takes longer to get through dinner, and it’s almost impossible to get to talk to everybody, so the people on the fringe of the guest list you could have avoided… you probably won’t have time to talk to them anyways. The flip side of that though, 75 people and under…. It’s almost impossible to get people to dance and have fun because there is safety in numbers
The more you spend on the wedding reception, the less you’ll have for a honeymoon, down payment on a house etc…. what’s more important to you?
Flowers are SO expensive
As a guy it’s crazy to me how much money people spend on flowers…. As a DJ… it’s insulting when I find out people spent more money on flowers that get thrown away than they did on the entertainment! You don’t have to tell your fiancé that flowers are expensive… she knows… and she still wants them… telling her that they are a waste of money… not going to go over well…. Instead… THIS is something you can get involved with….
Research… find the cheapest type of flowers that you can… Carnations for example, can be painted to match your wedding colors that she picked (you trusted her judgement) … adding them to arrangements can fill them out giving a more for less feel but severely lower the cost. Don’t let her in on the fact that your sudden interest is cost savings… She will appreciate your involvement and investment in making the day special…. There are options for Wooden flowers too…. For the cost I think they are similar, but they don’t die, and you have a memento forever.
Wedding planning can be stressful if you let it…. Your stress comes from your bride to be asking you questions you don’t care about …. Her stress comes from trying to include you, while not having to actually change her vision with your input. Women want you to WANT to be involved, but not actually get involved…. Get yourself out of this, and secretly accomplish both with “I trust your judgement” … Wedding planning will get much easier.
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